Obviously, it’s been quite some time since I’ve written here so I was surprised to find a few drafts saved from awhile back. Please enjoy:
Mom was in town last weekend and per usual, convinced me to spend some of my hard earned money on stuff I absolutely do not need. This weekend’s addition was patio [...]
Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category
Catching Up: Like a Modern Day Fairytale But With No Bra
Posted in Uncategorized on September 10, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
The Title of This Post Was Going to Be 101 Reasons My Mom Should NOT Have a Farm But That Sounded Like a Lot of Work so I’ll Just Give You One
Posted in Uncategorized on September 10, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
Chickens.
My mom and stepdad have recently decided that instead of one of those silly banks, they’d like to sink their retirement into a “farm.” Yes, that’s right Concord, TX – you are the new home of two complete nuts and one 14-year-old miniature dachshund! I’ll give you a minute to savor that.
My Uncle Bubba- [...]
Four of Life’s Questions Answered
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged being ticklish, children, comedy, does God have feet?, emos, funny, giggles, haha, hilarious, house of payne, humor, laughter, life, lifes questions answered, pete wentz, shanae grimes, sprinkle cheese, stupid, tickleosity removal, tyler perry, why are kids always freaking sticky?, wikianswers on December 16, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
I just discovered this website called WikiAnswers (by googling “that stupid quote about letting love go and it coming back again and then you had it, or you lost it or something like that”). And let me tell you my friends, I think this is the place for me.
Essentially anyone with a connection to the internets [...]
And We’re All Five Degrees From Kevin Bacon Anyway.
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged "Could you possibly turn me off more and do you want to go make out?", #1 way to get the man of your dreams? cry, bad decisons, basketball, bridgeophobia, comedy, dating, dating your ex-boyfriend's good friends, ex-boyfriends, funny, giggles, haha, here's hoping my ex got that herp AFTER I was out of the picture, hilarious, humor, insanity, jet packs, kevin bacon, laughter, life, reasons why people I knew in college pretend not to remember me, silly, stupid on December 15, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
This weekend I was given free basketball tickets by my dad (who I’m sure did not intend for me to make a cocktail out of wine and beer beforehand and continue to drink my way through 4am). I decided to offer them up to Ex-boyfriend’s Good Friend. Who was also a good friend of mine [...]
The Return of The Mack
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged "Could you possibly turn me off more and do you want to go make out?", Add new tag, comedy, family, funny, giggles, humor, in the winter my dad wears a funny little hat too, life, When did pea coats become gay? on December 10, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
Ok, I know I released Is-he-or-isn’t-he-guy to the gods of Bitchier Bitches than me… but I think playing hard to get actually worked.
This week it was REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY EFFING cold at the Auction. So I was wearing approximately 97 articles of clothing and had about half an inch of my face showing.
This is [...]
I’ve Never Been Colder In My Life… Including That Time I Cryogenicly Froze Walt Disney’s Head
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged Add new tag, being cold, comedy, cryogenics, disney, friends, funny, giggles, hilarious, humor, laughter, life, really really REALLY cold, reasons why mickey mouse won't come within 10 feet of me, silly, stupid, the cryogenicly frozen head of walt disney, walt disney on December 10, 2008 | 2 Comments »
The clever and quirky title of this blog was also my status on g-chat for about 20 minutes today.
The following conversation is an example of why I don’t have any normal friends.
L: okay, i have wondered this for years.
is his head REALLY frozen?
Sent at 2:07 PM on Wednesday
me: yes, i did it personally
L: were you [...]
Hey, Lots of People Wish Someone Would Put Them Back in the Feral Cat Trap that They Came From
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged being poor, bums breath, but I REALLY love cheese fries, comedy, dog, eye infections, funny, giggles, hilarious, humor, I love Lucy, jane eyre, life, one-eyed pets, sprinkle cheese, ways I waste money on December 8, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
Just asking…
Does wondering if I would still love my dog if she only had one eye make me a bad person?
My roommate A. has a dog. I also have a dog. The difference is other living beings seem to like my dog.
Almost every time her dog sees my dog it instantly attacks my dog’s face. [...]
Influential Men to Meet and Offend: Mark Cuban, CHECK
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged 22 years of glory, broke and hilarious, comedy, funny, giggles, haha, happy birthday j., humor, laughter, mark cuban, people magazine, people who are rich, reasons why I didn't specialize in pediatry, reasons why I'll be broke for the rest of my life, the secret to getting urine out of white tennis shoes on December 8, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
This weekend marked 22 years of J. terrorizing blessing us all with her presence. Although I guess I’ve really only known her about 5 of those years (and only really liked her about half of that time – JUST KIDDING).
In fact, I’m so fond of the little biddy that I will willingly insult men who [...]
Then We Discussed the Relevence of C.S. Lewis’ Essays on Morality in a Post-Industrial Society
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged 20 year olds who are really really lame, comedy, disney, friends, funny, giggles, haha, icarly, jonas brothers, nickelodeon, particularly joe jonas, yes...I do think I am superior to everyone. on December 5, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
Actual messages received from my actual friends J (teetering dangerously close to being 22) and L (who has already fallen over the edge) while all three of us were at our full-time jobs:
4:16 pm – J: dude….im listening to the joe jonas song from camp rock
legit.
Gotta Find YOu
4:19 pm - L: icarly came out with a [...]
